Partnership Parenting
I’m a grandparent of teens, so I was eager to read Seen, Heard & Understood: Parenting & Partnering with Teens for Greater Mental Health, by Lainie Liberti. I received an advance copy as a Reedsy Book Reviewer. This encouraging book guides families toward partnership parenting for healthy family relationships during adolescence. Liberti’s son, Miro Siegel, wrote the forward to the book, which serves as a strong recommendation.
Living and Working Together
Liberti wants us to understand that adolescence can bring tremendous personal growth for both teens and parents. The energy often spent fighting can be invested in building a deeper relationship.
Lainie is a speaker, teen coach, and alternative education advocate who helped spearhead the worldschooling movement. After the 2008 California economy crash, Liberti closed her Los Angeles-based branding agency. Liberti and her 9-year-old son Miro sold their possessions. Then they hit the road for a one-year adventure. Fifteen years and almost 50 countries later, they settled in Mexico.
Fix Yourself First
Desperate parents and defiant teens don’t need to be the norm. Lainie clearly shows us a better way. Rather than tell parents how to fix their teens, she guides parents through a process of healing their own old wounds and triggers, thus clearing the way for partnership parenting. Lainie pulls together vast amounts of material from other writers and hones it into a practical self-discovery journey for teens and parents.
Self-Inquiry for Partnership Parenting
Lainie explains:
“This entire book is about self-inquiry and not projecting your story or baggage onto your teen. The thought process of ‘I am going to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes I did’ may be coming from a place of concern, but there is judgment about one’s self that is unresolved, and it turns into automatic judgment about your teen’s actions.”
Good for a Group Read
During a fast read the book comes across as wordy. Lainie explains each concept in multiple ways. It’s best read in small pieces; there’s enough repetition so you won’t feel lost if you put it down for a week and think about it. It’s a perfect handbook for a group facilitator. The various emotional response charts and illustrations are worth the price of the book.
I came away having learned important skills. I suspect partnership parenting is easier to implement for single parents. However, doing the work described in the book as a couple/family would be a life-enhancing experience. Highly recommended for parents who seek guidance for the teen years.