Find out Why Public School is Attractive
Home-educated children sometimes decide they want to try public school. This can cause a hard-working homeschooling parent to wonder why. In fact, that’s the first question to ask. The student has a reason, and that reason is the most important piece of the puzzle. It may take time to figure it out, especially if the child fears that the parent might be hurt or angry about the reason.
I suggest taking an unhurried walk with the student so you are both relaxed. Actually, take several walks. First, assure the student that you expect he or she has a very good reason for wanting to go to school and you are curious to hear all about it. Listen. Then ask clarifying questions. Don’t criticize or act hurt. That’s a fast way to shut down communication.
When my home-schooled daughter, Jenny, started eighth grade she wanted to go to the local middle school. We had just moved to a new town, and she hoped she’d meet friends at school.
Don’t Take it Personally
It’s easy to feel that a child who wants to go to school doesn’t value the time and money you’ve invested in home education. It feels like the student is rejecting you personally. But that is seldom the case, in my experience.
Jenny shared that she wanted teachers other than her dad and me. This reminded me that by moving, we left a great home school group that provided a treasure house of teaching parents offering classes in their areas of passion and expertise. It made sense that Jenny would miss those relationships, and try to find a replacement. It wasn’t that she didn’t like us, but that she needed other adults in her life as well!
Talk about Public School Schedules
A homeschooled student may not be used to getting up to meet a bus, or to having their entire day occupied by classes. A clear understanding of the school schedule and how to manage it is essential.
Jenny assured me she would set her own alarm, make her own lunch, and ride her bike to school. In our case, that worked well. She demonstrated responsibility and independence enough to handle it.
If circumstances or maturity level make the schedule a problem, care must be taken to protect both the child’s needs AND those of the teaching parent. Supporting and transporting a school child takes as much time as it does to homeschool! A family that has experienced the freedom to travel at any time of year may chafe at being tied to a school schedule. Parents and other children may resent this restriction. Perhaps the student who wants to go to school will need to stay with friends when the family travels. Addressing these concerns early in the process allows time to find reasonable workarounds.
Think about Time Commitment
Public school takes a lot of time. The student will spend seven or eight hours a day in school and then they may have homework or sports afterward. If the student has other pursuits, such as music or dance, these may become impossible.
In our case, I taught special education classes that year at the same school Jenny attended. That meant scheduling and time conflicts were minimized. Jenny’s older sister continued homeschooling, on an independent course of study. We all felt limited by the time commitment of public school! It meant we couldn’t travel with Dad when his work took him to interesting places. We all missed that.
Agree to Change the Plan if it Doesn’t Work
No matter what kind of education you are providing for your child, you can always change it. Options exist if you look for them. There are cooperative mini-schools, charter schools, private schools, unschooling, homeschooling, and public schools.
I made the mistake of telling Jenny that if she chose to go to public school that year, she had to go for the whole year. She agreed, but later we both felt this was a poor decision. I think I felt overwhelmed by the pressures of my teaching position and didn’t want to deal with changes mid-year.
A few weeks into the school year, Jenny revealed that although she was making excellent grades, she wanted to quit school and resume homeschooling. She said all the girls she met at school just wanted to talk about nail polish and boys. No one wanted to discuss science or play chess. No one had read any interesting books. She found the classes boring. I should have let her come home and chart her own course. I made her finish the year, and in retrospect, it was wasted time. But none of us make perfect decisions every time!
You Want Independent Kids, Right?
What does it really mean if your homeschooled student wants to go to public school? It means that your child has become an independent thinker who is brave enough to go out into the world and try new things. It should be accommodated if possible, without hurting the rest of the family. Honoring a child’s desire to find out what school is like makes sense.
Jenny and I both found out what public school is like. The next year, we both stayed home. When I returned to work, Jenny planned her own high school curriculum, finished in two years, and won a scholarship to the local college.
by Yvonna Graham, M.Ed. www.dyslexiakit.net
@GrahamYvonna